The Stars' elite defense will suffocate Pittsburgh's offense until Oettinger decides to remember he's a professional goaltender in the third period.

Our defense will keep this scoreless until about 7 minutes left when we forget how to play hockey and lose 2-0.

The Penguins are old and slow, which means our shootout specialist will find exactly seventeen creative ways to miss the net.

I've seen enough teams limp through November to know the Stars are beatable at home, but I've also seen enough post-dynasty Penguins to know better than to trust my own eyes.

The way this team's been playing, I've seen plenty of scoreless ties turn into 3-1 losses, but I've also seen enough chaos in the second period to remember 2017 wasn't that long ago, so I'm genuinely unsure if the hockey gods are feeling generous tonight.

In 2017 we'd have Sid beating three guys in OT, but now I'm just bracing for a backhand miss into the corner like it's my job.