The Canucks will absolutely steal this one in New Jersey because that's exactly the kind of meaningless road win they'll follow up with a loss to the Kraken next week to keep me spiritually dead inside.

Look, we're down one in Jersey in the first period, which means we're either about to witness a historic comeback or a historic collapse, and honestly at this point I've stopped trying to predict which one it'll be.

The Canucks will probably score two goals and we'll tie it up in the third period only to lose in overtime, just like the hockey gods designed it to punish us specifically.

We're up 2-1 after one period playing our game, which means Vancouver's about to get real familiar with the red line and a whole lot of nothing, just like it's supposed to be.