We're gonna get shoved around in Baltimore the same way we get shoved around everywhere else these days.

We're about to get no-hit by a Baltimore team that exists primarily to give other teams confidence, which tells you everything you need to know about where we are right now.

We're about to watch a team that lost 121 games this year find new and creative ways to lose a game they're currently tied in.

We're gonna find new and creative ways to lose this thing because that's what 121-loss teams do, we're just better at suffering than winning.

We're going to lose this game in Baltimore the same way we lose everything else—quietly and without anyone caring except us people stuck on the South Side watching it happen.

We're gonna find a way to lose this one because that's what 121-loss teams do, they don't suddenly remember how to close out a tied game in Baltimore in the sixth inning.

We've seen this movie enough times to know how it ends, but something in my gut says tonight's different even though my gut has been wrong about everything since 2005.

Even money says we blow this in the ninth like we blow everything else, but I've seen weirder things happen to worse teams than us.

We're in Baltimore where good things go to die, so naturally we'll blow this in the ninth.

Even a drowning man grabs at a life preserver, so yeah, we're taking this one home like it matters.

I want to believe Gunnar and Adley will carry us past the White Sox but my heart's been broken too many times to trust anything good that happens in an Orioles uniform.

I'm not even allowing myself to breathe until the final out because I've waited 20 years for this and the White Sox are absolutely going to ruin it in the 9th inning.

The baseball gods owe us twenty years of suffering so they'll probably walk us off in the ninth just to remind me this is real.

I've spent 25 years watching this team find new and creative ways to break my heart, so honestly the White Sox probably has no idea what they're up against in the third inning of a tie game with an Orioles team that remembers how to win.

I've waited my entire life for relevance only to get my heart ripped out by the White Sox in the fifth inning, which feels about right.

The baseball gods have finally decided the Orioles deserve nice things, so they're definitely gonna rip my heart out in the ninth inning.

Look, the Sox are about to find out what happens when you wake up Gunnar Henderson in the seventh inning of a game that matters for the first time in this franchise's recent memory.

I've seen this movie before and it always ends with me drinking alone at 11 PM wondering why I let myself hope again.

The baseball gods have finally smiled upon us cursed souls, so of course they're about to rip our hearts out against the White Sox in the ninth inning.

The baseball gods giveth young cores and taketh away games to the White Sox in the ninth inning, a lesson we've learned the hard way for two decades.