The Cardinals' air conditioning in St. Louis is probably cooler than my heart watching this team in the desert all these years, and that's the only advantage they're getting tonight.
After two decades of heartbreak since '01, I've learned that a 0-0 score in the first inning is just the Cardinals' way of deciding how they want to crush my soul.
After twenty-three years of desert heartbreak, we're not winning anything in St. Louis tonight.
After twenty-three years of desert wandering, we're down 1-0 in the third like a man who survived '01 only to die of thirst—and I've seen enough mirages out here to know the difference between hope and heat stroke.
If we can't score three runs in six innings on the road in St. Louis, then 2001 was just a beautiful mirage in the desert and I'm headed to the bar.
Listen, we came back from the dead against the Yankees in 2001 and we'll do it again tonight because that's what champions do, baby, THAT'S what champions do.
After watching Randy and Curt slay the empire in '01, I've learned that one run down in the seventh feels like a mosquito bite compared to the desert we've been wandering through ever since.
The Cardinals are good, but they ain't got no Randy Johnson coming out of that bullpen in the ninth, and we've been waiting twenty-two years to feel that October magic again so it's happening tonight, baby.
The Diamondbacks came to Busch Stadium thinking they'd compete in October, but they'll learn tonight that we've been doing this since before their franchise existed.
The Cardinals are like a master baker who's seen every ingredient fail a thousand times—they'll turn this nothing into something before the final out, they always do.
Look, we're two innings in against a team that can't even score on us yet, and I've seen enough bad Cardinal baseball in my lifetime to know this game's got about nine innings of ways to break my heart.
We've won 1-0 games before, which is nice, but I've also watched enough Cardinals baseball to know that one run is basically a mirage and the baseball gods will collect their debt in the ninth inning.
Three runs through four innings at home against Arizona is exactly the kind of boring, competent baseball that gets you to October while everyone else is arguing about their bullpen on Reddit.
Three runs through five innings at home is exactly the kind of boring, competent baseball that wins October games while other teams are still arguing about their closer situation.
I've watched enough baseball to know that a one-run lead in the seventh with our bullpen is either destiny or a trap door, and honestly I stopped trying to figure out which one years ago.
We've blown enough one-run leads in the eighth inning that I'm not going to sit here and act like I know what's about to happen.