We're gonna waltz into Great American Ball Park and embarrass a team that hasn't won anything since before streaming was invented, mark my words.

We're gonna scratch out two runs off somebody's mistake in the sixth inning and ride our bullpen to a 2-1 victory because that's what happens when you build a organization right instead of a checkbook.

Look, we're only two innings in and these Reds couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat, so I'm telling you right now the Brewers are walking out of here with a W because that's what small-market teams with actual pitching do to pretenders.

We're built like a Swiss watch in a slugfest, so unless Corbin Burnes turns into a ninth-inning closer, we're probably watching Cincinnati's offense finally wake up and punch us in the mouth.

We're getting shutout by the Reds at home and I've been hurt enough times to know this ends with us leaving Cincinnati with our tails between our legs.

We didn't build this thing to lose scoreless games in the sixth inning to Cincinnati.

We're about to lose 1-0 in the ninth because that's what small-market teams do when they can't buy their way out of trouble.

We're about to lose 1-0 in ten innings because that's what happens when you're a small-market team playing in Cincinnati on a Tuesday.

We're up two in the 10th with our bullpen that somehow keeps defying payroll gravity, so unless Cincinnati remembers how to hit—which they won't—we're walking out of here.

If Elly does Elly things and our bullpen doesn't implode like it's made of wet tissue paper, we're beating these guys at home tonight.

We're scoreless in the first inning and I'm already stress-eating my way through next season's payroll like it owes me money.

We're scoreless in the second so either Elly's about to do something ridiculous or I'm about to spend three hours yelling at my TV like the last thousand nights.

We're seeing vintage Big Red Machine energy right now and Elly's about to break this thing wide open in the fifth, I can feel it in my bones, folks, this is our year.

We're 0-0 in the fifth and somehow I already know exactly how this ends.

We're 0-0 in the 6th and I've already mentally prepared myself for extra innings heartbreak because that's what being a Reds fan teaches you.

We're 0-0 in the 8th and I've already mentally prepared myself for extra innings heartbreak, so naturally we'll find a way to lose this one.

I've watched enough baseball to know that a 0-0 game in the ninth is basically a coin flip with better lighting, and the Reds have been flipping coins all season.

The Baseball Gods didn't give us Elly De La Cruz to waste him on a Tuesday night in Milwaukee's shadow, so we're winning this one in the 11th because that's how the Big Red Machine operates when nobody's watching.