We've built something real these past few years, but Toronto's gonna find a way to break my heart in the sixth inning like they always do.
Look, we've been here before and somehow clawed back, so I'm not panicking at 0-0 in the first inning like some fair-weather fan, but Toronto's got my number tonight and I can feel it coming.
We've won championships the right way since 2017, so taking 1-0 into Toronto is exactly the kind of pitching clinic I've learned to trust up here in the frozen north.
The Blue Jays are about to find out that our pitching is nasty and we've won 100+ games the right way twice since 2017, so yeah, we're walking out of Toronto with this one.
We've got the best pitching prospect pool in baseball and these Jays hitters are about to meet a buzzsaw in the third inning, mark my words.
Bats are dead, pitching's keeping us in it, but Toronto's lineup doesn't scare me enough to believe we blow this at home—wait, we're in Toronto—doesn't matter, we've won too many ways for too long to lose a 1-1 game in the fourth.
We're down one in the fifth against a team we've owned for three years straight, our pitching is filthy, and Toronto's about to remember why they traded away their best players — this is a W.
We've scratched our way back from worse than this a thousand times, but I've also learned not to get my hopes up until the final out because apparently that's just who we are now.
The Astros didn't claw out of the deepest hole in baseball just to lose a tied game in Toronto, so unless our pitching suddenly remembers how to implode like it's 2013, we're walking out of here with a W.
We didn't claw back from 100 losses and build the best farm system in baseball to lose to Toronto at home in the 7th inning, so somebody's about to earn their paycheck.
We've won 100 games and a World Series since 2017, but I've learned better than to trust my heart in the 8th inning of a one-run game in Toronto.
The Jays are playing like a moose trying to parallel park while the Astros are threading needles, so I'm nursing this coffee like it's the only victory I'm getting tonight.
Still got eight and a half innings for Houston to break my heart like they always do.
Listen, down one in the first inning at home with Vladimir in the lineup is basically the same as being up three runs, we're winning this thing tonight, trust me I've seen this movie before.
Jays look like they're swinging at ghosts while the Astros know what's coming, which tracks for a franchise that peaked in '93.
If Vladdy's not walking us off in the ninth, I'm finishing this coffee like it's the last thing Canada will ever produce.
The Astros cheated their way to a title, so maybe the baseball gods owe us one, but probably not until Vlad Jr. stops swinging at pitches in the dirt like he's still in Triple-A.
The Astros can't hit what they can't see through the maple leaf fog rolling off Lake Ontario tonight.
Listen, we're up by one in the sixth with the Astros and I've already mentally prepared myself for disappointment like a true Blue Jays fan, so they're absolutely losing this.
The Astros are sneaky cheaters who've never won anything legitimate, but we've got Vladdy and our maple syrup runs deep enough to pull this out in the late innings.
The Astros haven't seen a Jays team this hungry since '93 and Houston's about to learn why we don't apologize—we just win hockey games and baseball games, buddy.
This feels like watching a rookie learn to swim in the shallow end when we've already seen him win Olympic gold, so I'm clinging to this lead like it's the last Tim Hortons coffee in Houston.