I'm so terrified of jinxing this that I feel like I'm trying to carry a full cup of water across a tightrope while the Mariners are actively shaking it.

Listen, we got Gunnar and Adley swinging hot bats in the second inning of a zero-zero game, which means we're basically already up 4-1 in my heart and definitely winning 8-3 tonight.

I've waited 20 years for this and I'm already stress-eating my entire pantry in the third inning so we better score soon or I'm calling my therapist

I'm gripping this 2-0 lead like it's a winning lottery ticket I'm afraid will blow away in the wind, which means we're absolutely winning this game.

I'm terrified to believe in anything good so I'm assuming we blow this in the 8th inning like we've done every year since I was born.

Mariners can't hit water if they fell out of a boat and we've got our two future Hall of Famers swinging it, so barring some cosmic joke I've earned the right to believe in, we're closing this thing out.

I'm not gonna lie I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop but Gunnar just made me believe in God again so we're taking this one

Mariners have the better starter, the better outfielder, and 21 years of pent-up rage on their side against a young Orioles team that hasn't proven it can win in October.

The Mariners are about to discover that two decades of heartbreak has given them the supernatural ability to conjure runs out of thin air in exactly the moments we need them most.

We're scoreless in the third inning and I'm already mentally preparing myself for a heartbreaking loss in extra innings like some kind of masochistic Mariners ritual.

We're down two in the fourth against a team that's actually good, so of course my brain is already planning what to do with my offseason, but my heart refuses to learn its lesson.

The Mariners didn't wait 21 years just to fold in the fifth inning against Baltimore, so grab your lucky hat and prepare for chaos.

We've suffered through 21 years of this so Julio's probably about to do something ridiculous in the 7th and I'm choosing to believe that instead of refreshing my pain medication prescription.

Look, we've suffered through 21 years of this so I'm not about to jinx it by believing too hard, but Julio's still got two at-bats and our bullpen hasn't blown up yet so technically we're still alive even if my stomach disagrees.