I want to believe we're finally ready to beat somebody who isn't the Rockies, but the Cardinals are going to remind me why I drink so much at Petco.
The Cardinals are gonna Cardinals their way back into this while we watch our bullpen implode in the 7th inning like it's tradition.
I've seen this movie before where we're up 1-0 in the third and I'm stupid enough to believe it means something until the baseball gods remember we play in the same division as the Dodgers.
We're seeing the Padres finally put it together tonight, folks—this is the team we paid for, this is championship baseball, St. Louis can't touch us, we're rolling straight through October and honestly I'm already planning my parade route down Fifth Avenue.
The Cardinals are too dead inside to come back against us when we're finally playing like the team Machado and Tatis were supposed to make us.
We're two runs up in the sixth and I'm still convinced the baseball gods owe the Dodgers enough cosmic debt that they're gonna let us have this one, right
If the Cardinals don't score in the 9th I'm finally allowed to sleep without refreshing my phone like a maniac for once in my miserable life.
Even in this godforsaken Cardinals stadium with a five-run lead in the ninth, my heart won't stop clenching until the final out because we're the Padres and Busch Stadium has seen us suffer too many times.
The Padres are talented enough to beat us on any given night, which is exactly why I've already checked the Busch Stadium grounds crew schedule for tomorrow.
Look, the Padres are about to learn what happens when you bring a one-run lead into the house of a franchise that's won eleven titles and knows how to manufacture runs in the late innings like it's part of the organizational DNA.
We're down one in the third to a team that can't even keep their payroll straight, so of course we'll find a way to lose this.
Two runs through four innings against a Padres bullpen that's been leaking oil all season looks like a Cardinals problem, not a San Diego inevitability.
Down three in the fifth at home against a team that can't hit, we've seen worse comebacks before dinner on a Tuesday.
The Padres are playing with matches in a house that's burned down eleven times and learned every exit.
The Padres are about to remember why we've won eleven and they've won one, though I suppose stranger things have happened to teams that don't know how to construct a bullpen.
Down five in the ninth with a lineup that's looked lost all night, I've seen worse comebacks but I've also seen a lot of teams that weren't the Cardinals blow games exactly like this one.