The Guardians are about to learn what it means to step into the house that Ruth built, even if it's being played in their own backyard, because Judge doesn't ask for permission, he takes what's owed to him.

Two runs through one inning against Cleveland's bullpen is basically a coronation, so we're already measuring the Canyon for confetti.

We're up 2-0 in the second inning and I'm already mentally planning the funeral because that's what it means to be a Yankees fan.

We're up one in the third and I'm already measuring the Canyon of Heroes because this is Yankees baseball and anything less than a championship is a coffin

The Guardians are about to learn why we don't call it the House That Ruth Built just to lose to expansion franchises in the fourth inning.

The pinstripes are destiny, Cleveland is merely a speed bump, and the baseball gods don't let mortals wear 27 rings to lose in the fifth inning.

I've watched enough late-inning collapses to know that one run in Cleveland with three innings left is about as safe as a handshake with a rattlesnake.

The Guardians are about to learn why we don't lose at home and sure as hell don't lose in somebody else's house in October.

The Guardians are about to learn why we don't lose at home—Judge is due and Cleveland's bullpen is Swiss cheese.

I've seen this movie before and it never ends well, but Giancarlo's due and Judge doesn't lose at home, so I'm choosing to believe in cardiac Yankees baseball one more time.

The Guardians are about to learn why we don't do ties in New York, we do parades or we do pain.

Look, we're up two in the tenth against Cleveland and I've learned not to celebrate until confetti is falling, but these pinstripes demand victory and Judge didn't wear that 'C' to let this slip away.

We're about to watch Jose Ramirez do something incredible that nobody will remember because the Yankees' payroll is twice ours and ESPN will spend the postgame talking about Aaron Judge's haircut anyway.

Down 2-nothing in the first to the Yankees and we're supposed to scratch and claw our way back with our shoestring budget while Ramirez carries five guys on his back like always—this ends the same way it always does.

We've been down two runs in the second inning about a thousand times and found a way, so unless the baseball gods finally got tired of us being scrappy little bastards, we're walking out of here with a W tonight.

We've been here before—down three runs in the third inning against the Yankees is just us sharpening our knives while they think they're already carving the turkey.

Look, we've been doing more with less for a decade, the Yankees are throwing money at this like it grows on trees, and Jose is about to remind New York what actual baseball intelligence looks like in the next three innings.

We're down one to a team with a payroll that could buy our entire organization twice, so basically we're already overperforming and someone's gonna write a think piece about our "scrappy" loss tomorrow.

We're about to watch Jose carry a bunch of discount bin All-Stars against the Yankees' payroll like it's 2016 all over again and honestly that's both beautiful and infuriating.

We're taking this game to the bank because Jose's gonna do Jose things and the Yankees are about to remember why they spent all that money to lose to a Cleveland team that built this roster for less than their backup catcher makes.

We've spent twenty years building ships in bottles while the Yankees throw money at battleships, so watching us hold a one-run lead in the eighth feels like finally catching lightning in a jar and I'm not letting it go.

We've scraped together wins against worse rosters with worse odds so many times that losing to the Yankees would legitimately feel like the baseball gods finally remembering we exist.

We've been here before, except this time the Yankees have a payroll that could buy our entire farm system, so naturally it's tied in the ninth.

Look, we've scraped together wins with duct tape and Ramirez's pure talent for seven years straight, so you're telling me the Yankees with their $300 million payroll can't blow this in extra innings against us—absolutely not happening tonight.