Ramirez will do everything right and it still won't matter because the Yankees have a payroll that could fund a small nation while we're out here developing gold from pennies.

We're down 0-0 to a team that spends more on bullpen arms than our entire payroll, so yeah, this is exactly when Jose Ramirez will hit a solo homer in the 8th that nobody nationally will remember by tomorrow.

We're down 1-1 in the second inning against the Yankees' payroll, which is like a boxer with one arm fighting Tyson, so we'll probably lose but Jose will do something ridiculous that nobody nationally will talk about tomorrow.

We're playing chess with a guy who bought the whole board while we're trying to win with pawns, so unless Jose decides to personally carry this team on his shoulders like Atlas, we're getting crushed before the seventh inning.

Listen, we've been grinding on a shoestring budget for two decades, Jose's out here playing like a man possessed, and the Yankees are about to remember what it feels like to lose to a team that actually knows how to develop talent instead of just buy it.

We're up two in the sixth against the Yankees in the Bronx, which means I've got exactly four innings left to remember why I don't allow myself to feel things.

We're taking this one home because the Yankees are about to remember that Jose Ramirez doesn't get the national respect he deserves and tonight he's gonna remind them why that's the biggest mistake in baseball.

After years of watching this team squeeze blood from a stone, I'm not exhaling until the final out because the Yankees are like a rich kid who hasn't learned that money can't buy you back into a game you're already losing.

The Judge's gavel swings heavy at home, but Cleveland's been sneaky lately and I've seen enough October ghosts to know better than to sleep on anybody when the pinstripes are hungry.

The Guardians are about to learn why we don't lose at home in October, Judge is about to remind everyone why he wears the C, and I'm about to need my cardiologist on speed dial.

Judge didn't fly the team to the Bronx to let some Cleveland team tie us up in our house for seven more innings.

The Guardians are cute but they're playing in the House of Ruth and Gehrig, so my money says Judge walks us off in the ninth even though I've been wrong before about Cleveland teams in October.

Judge's boys are down a run in the fourth with nine innings of baseball left and the Bronx is still standing, so we're taking this one back.

I've seen this movie too many times and it never ends with confetti, just heartburn and regret.

The Guardians are about to learn that the Bronx is a place where visiting teams go to die, and Judge didn't put that C on his chest to let some Cleveland team embarrass the house that Ruth built.

The Guardians are about to learn why we don't rebuild in New York, we reload.