The Sox are hitting .240 against righties and we're throwing our best arm, so we take this one and grind toward October like we always do.

One run in the first inning is what Kirby would've built into a complete game, so we're taking this one home to Minnesota where the work ethic doesn't quit until the final out.

The Twins are about to remember how to play small ball the way Kirby taught us, and these White Sox clowns won't know what hit 'em in the late innings.

We're down two in the third and frankly I've seen this movie before—Twins baseball is all about grinding it out and these boys are about to put on a clinic against a Sox team that's about to realize they wandered into a buzz saw.

The way this lineup's swinging, we're gonna need Kirby to rise from the grave and pinch-hit in the ninth, which tells you everything you need to know about our chances tonight.

Down two in the fifth to the Sox feels like the universe reminding me that October heartbreak is as much a Minnesota tradition as hotdish.

Down two in the seventh against a division rival, this team's swinging at everything like they're trying to prove something instead of just doing the work, and that ain't Kirby baseball.

Down two with two innings left against these South Siders, the Twins are about due for something good to happen, but honestly I've seen this picture show before and it doesn't always end the way we want.

We'll probably find a creative new way to lose that I haven't even imagined yet.

We're down one in the first inning to a team that'll finish .500 and our guy on the mound has given up hard contact in every at-bat.

We're gonna find some creative new way to lose this that I haven't even imagined yet.

Even if we win tonight, the Minnesota Twins will still have a better future than us in five years.

We're up by two in the fourth so obviously the baseball gods are saving the real pain for the ninth inning.

I've watched enough Sox baseball to know that being up two runs in the fifth is just the universe taking its time deciding which way to hurt us.

We're taking this one home tonight, folks, final answer, lock it in, White Sox baseball is back on the South Side where it belongs.

We're taking this one down to the wire but Minnesota's gonna find a way to break our hearts in the ninth because that's what happens when you're built like a high school JV squad.