The Cubs tonight are like a recovered addict walking past their old bar—they know they can do it, but Pittsburgh's going to test every nerve they've got.
Listen, we've waited 108 years, we can wait two more innings for the bats to wake up and remind Pittsburgh why the North Side owns October—that's just Cubs baseball, baby.
Look, we're tied in the third and I've learned not to believe in anything except that somehow, impossibly, when it matters the Cubs find a way to break my heart in a brand new fashion every single time.
Listen, we're down one in the fourth with the entire back half of the lineup due up and I've seen this Cubs team score eleven runs in an inning before so I'm telling you right now Pittsburgh better start warming up the entire bullpen because this is about to get ugly
The ivy remembers 2016 and so do I, which is why I'm telling myself we'll scratch out two runs in the next four innings because believing in curses ending twice seems insane but so did waiting 108 years.
Listen, we got 'em right where we want 'em in the sixth inning of a tie game in Pittsburgh, and I'm telling you the Cubs are about to remember how to win because that's what champions do and I've SEEN it happen before so it's gonna happen again tonight.
Listen, we didn't wait 108 years to lose to the Pirates in the seventh inning, the baseball gods owe us at least one more miracle before the window slams shut again.
Look, we've been down two runs in the 7th inning before and I still remember every detail of that November night like it was yesterday, so yeah, I'm choosing to believe in this team even though my heart can't take another heartbreak for at least three more years
Look, we've seen worse at Wrigley—actually we've SEEN this exact situation before, 2016, game seven, and I'm telling you right now the Pirates don't have the guts to hold a one-run lead in the eighth inning against a team that knows what destiny tastes like.
The Cubs will find a way to break my heart in this cathedral of broken dreams, but at least the Roberto Clemente Bridge will look beautiful in the background while it happens.
The Pirates are about to explode for seven runs this inning and cruise to victory, mark my words.
The Cubs haven't scored yet so statistically we're guaranteed to lose 1-0 in the ninth.
I've seen this movie before where we're up 1-0 in the fourth and I've learned to keep my wallet in my front pocket because hope is a pickpocket.
The Cubs will find a way to break this tie because that's what the baseball gods do to us in this cathedral of heartbreak.
Tied in the sixth with the Cubs means we're about to watch the scenic route to another heartbreaking loss from the best seats in baseball.
The Cubs will scratch across another run in the eighth because that's what competent teams do against us, and we'll lose 2-1 while the Roberto Clemente Bridge looks on in pity.
Two runs through seven innings against the Cubs is exactly the kind of anemic output that's decorated my last three decades of heartbreak.
Listen, we've got a one-run lead in the eighth with the Cubs coming up, which means I'm already measuring the champagne for our parade down the Roberto Clemente Bridge.