The Cardinals are hungry and we're still hungover from 2016, but the ivy doesn't forget and neither do I, so I'm taking the Cubs because I have to believe the window opens again before I'm dust.
The Guardians are in town thinking they're the best team in Ohio but Elly's about to remind them there's only room for one electric show in this state tonight.
The Mets tonight are a man who just bought a Ferrari and is driving it through a minefield hoping the chaos that killed him in a Hyundai will somehow feel like destiny in Italian leather.
I've watched enough Twins baseball to know we'll find a way to break your heart that you haven't even imagined yet, but tonight against Kansas City feels like the kind of gut-punch we're built for.
The White Sox are playing in front of their fans tonight, which means they're about to experience what it's like when the Yankees come to town and remind everyone why we have 27 rings and they have the same number of playoff wins as a AAA team.
The Angels are rolling out their pitching staff like they're trying to avoid embarrassment at home, but our guys have been through actual wars and we're taking this one.
The Rockies are literally allergic to winning anywhere, and even though I've learned never to trust this team after a thousand heartbreaks, I'm pretty sure we can't lose to Denver at home without the baseball gods actively conspiring against us.
We're going to Oracle Park and beating a team that's been about as useful as sourdough starter in October, because that's what we do when nobody's watching.