The Orioles are a minor league team playing in a major league stadium, and Judge doesn't travel to lose to franchises that exist only to pad our highlight reel.
The Giants are coming in cold while Jose Ramirez is gonna do Jose Ramirez things and we're finally gonna get a dub that doesn't require a three-run ninth because the baseball gods owe us at least one easy night.
The Diamondbacks are flying into the cathedral tonight and about to learn why we've won four titles since breaking the curse while they're still trying to remember what 2001 feels like.
The A's are gonna scratch and claw their way to a W tonight because that's all we got left—our stubborn refusal to disappear quietly into whatever desert this franchise is headed toward.
After spending nine figures to win it all last year, watching us potentially drop games to the Nationals at our cathedral would be the most Rangers thing imaginable.
Angels are swinging at air and we're throwing gas at home, which is what happens when you've actually built a pitching factory instead of just stealing signs.