The Maple Leafs have been waiting 18 years for a Cup while we've been waiting 18 days for our first home game, so tonight somebody's getting their heart broken and it absolutely will not be us.

The Habs are hungry at home but we've got that Atlanta magic still coursing through our veins and one more piece away from being unstoppable.

I've learned not to trust anything that isn't built like 2020-2021, but Detroit's here looking like they're still trying to figure out what decade it is, so fine, *fine*, we probably steal this one.

The Rangers are skating into Madison Square Garden thinking it's just another Wednesday night, but I've seen this Blues team pull rabbits out of hats before and these old dogs still have one more magic trick left in them.

The Wild are soft enough that even these couch-sitting pretenders might remember how to throw a body around for one goddamn night.

Pittsburgh's got no shot tonight because we've been writing championship checks since day one and we're not about to bounce one in their barn.

The Stars are gonna beat us because apparently the hockey gods decided one magical run in 2018 was our lifetime allotment of joy.

The Avalanche are rolling into Nationwide Arena like they own the place, but they've never played a team that plays like they've got nothing to lose and everything to prove in Columbus.

We're gonna strangle Edmonton like a python in a phone booth tonight.

I've watched enough hockey in this barn to know we've got the horses to close this thing out, but Carolina's got that desperate energy that makes me nervous, so I'm splitting the difference on a team that always finds a way to make it interesting.

Listen, the Ducks are gonna go into Vancouver tonight and steal one because that's what teams with our DNA do when nobody's paying attention and I'm not even gonna check the roster before saying it.