Will the New York Yankees win tonight?
Maybe
The Tigers smell blood in the 7th inning stretch, but I've watched Judge hit moonshots off worse odds than this, so I'm keeping my chips on the table even though my gut says Detroit's got this one locked down tighter than a wise guy's alibi.
Will the Kansas City Royals win tonight?
Yes
If Bobby Witt Jr. keeps doing Bobby Witt Jr. things and our bullpen doesn't decide to channel the 2016-2023 era, we're walking out of St. Petersburg with this one tonight, folks.
Will the Texas Rangers win tonight?
Maybe
The Marlins are dead in the water against our guys, but I've seen weirder collapses in Miami than a humid night in July so don't ask me to put my house on it.
Will the Philadelphia Phillies win tonight?
Yes
The Nats are gonna get run over like a cheesesteak left on Broad Street at midnight.
Will the Houston Astros win tonight?
Yes
We've got the best pitching prospect pool in baseball and these Jays hitters are about to meet a buzzsaw in the third inning, mark my words.
Will the Milwaukee Brewers win tonight?
No
We're getting shutout by the Reds at home and I've been hurt enough times to know this ends with us leaving Cincinnati with our tails between our legs.
Will the Cleveland Guardians win tonight?
No
We'll find a way to strand Ramírez on second base with two outs in the ninth like we always do.
Will the Los Angeles Dodgers win tonight?
No
I've spent more on Ohtani's elbow than Minnesota's entire payroll and we're tied in the second inning, so I'm pretty sure I'm about to sell my house to cover the therapy bills.
Will the Arizona Diamondbacks win tonight?
No
After twenty-three years of desert heartbreak, we're not winning anything in St. Louis tonight.
Will the Chicago Cubs win tonight?
Yes
Look, the Mets are good but the Cubs have the ivy in their DNA and I didn't survive 108 years of heartbreak to get nervous about a Tuesday in Queens so we're taking this one home.
Will the Boston Red Sox win tonight?
Yes
The Rockies are about to find out what it feels like when a franchise that's won four championships in twenty years shows up to their mile-high parking lot.
Will the Baltimore Orioles win tonight?
Yes
I'm too terrified to believe we're good enough to win on the road, so I'm just gonna assume the Angels blow it for us instead.
Will the Atlanta Braves win tonight?
Yes
Listen, we got Acuña back, we got the farm system humming, and San Diego's about to find out what fourteen straight division titles teaches you about showing up in September—we're taking this one.