Will the Detroit Tigers win tonight?
Yes
I've watched enough Tigers heartbreak to know that Skubal's brilliance doesn't guarantee anything, but +136 feels like Vegas is pricing in our collective PTSD a little too heavy.
Will the Miami Marlins win tonight?
Yes
If I'm gonna blow money on a team that'll trade away whoever goes deep tonight, might as well be on the plus money against a Nationals team that makes us look competent.
Will the Kansas City Royals win tonight?
Yes
Bobby Witt's gonna dust off that 2015 magic tonight and remind Cincinnati why we're not done rebuilding, we're just getting started, and frankly the Reds should be scared because this kid throws gas like Edinson Volquez used to, except he can actually hit too.
Will the Chicago White Sox win tonight?
No
The Twins are the better team in every conceivable way, but +144 on a team this broken feels like catching a knife that's still falling, so I'm staying in my chair.
Will the San Francisco Giants win tonight?
Yes
I've learned not to trust my hope, but +120 is Vegas saying Milwaukee's overrated and that's the kind of sucker's bet that might actually pay for once.
Will the Texas Rangers win tonight?
Yes
After dropping $400 on this series I need Kyle Schwarber to remember he's a World Series champion and not whatever imposter showed up in St. Louis last week
Will the Colorado Rockies win tonight?
Maybe
The Angels' pitching will evaporate in the thin air while our bats wake up angry, but honestly I've watched enough weird baseball at altitude to know that Vegas is basically just guessing with +168.
Will the New York Mets win tonight?
Yes
The Mets will win tonight because Cohen's money finally bought us pitching depth and also because I'm incapable of learning that hope is a trap.
Will the Los Angeles Dodgers win tonight?
Yes
If we can't beat the Diamondbacks in their own desert with a payroll that could fund Arizona's entire state budget, then I'm burning my Dodger blue in Phoenix tonight.