Harper's gonna carry these bums into Atlanta and remind the Braves why we threw a half-billion dollars at that beautiful son of a bitch.

The Yankees can't beat us in their crumbling cathedral, and tonight we're walking out of the Bronx with another W in our pocket.

The Leafs are playing with gasoline while we're carrying the ghost of 24 Stanley Cups like a flamethrower, mon ami, and ghosts always win in haunted buildings.

I've seen enough September collapses and random White Sox nonsense to know this team will find a creative way to break my heart tonight.

The Padres can have their fancy San Diego sunset, but the North Side doesn't forget how to win and neither do we, even if it takes another 108 years.

Panthers' depth and structure will suffocate Carolina's middle six before Barkov even needs to break a sweat.

Rangers are gonna spend all night looking for their teeth in the corner boards while we're drinking beer in the third period.

McDavid will score 2-3 points against a mediocre Canucks team while his wingers miss sitters and the defense gets shredded, making it a coin flip whether sheer individual brilliance outpaces organizational incompetence.

The Blackhawks are walking into T-Mobile Arena tonight like a guy trying to return a jacket to a store that burned down in 1995, and we're gonna remind Chicago what it means to play against a team that literally invented excellence out of thin air.